2003-11-03
I shall start this review by stating some interesting facts: a while ago, a woman by the name of Annable Chong starred in a well documented and filmed event, in which she copulated with 256 (that’s two hundred and fifty six) men, making the occasion the biggest gang bang ever.
A while later, another woman, named Jasmine St. Claire raced to conquer that prestigious title, by inserting 300 (that’s three hundred) men into her private (marylin) chambers. Good for her!
And why, you ask, am I starting this review with those facts?
Because the widened Mrs. St Claire is the connecting motif between the songs in Dope’s newest album, something of a concept album, probably what iron maiden’s “7th son of a 7th son” would have been had it been called: “7 sons doing 7 daughters”.
The fascinating plot here, centering on the delectable Mrs. St Claire, consists of a fan calling the mentioned saint, and inviting her to vacuum his microphone, which, of course, she does, a few tracks later.
If by now you have not belted a loud “Oy Vey” and went to the next review, then this may be the CD for you.
Dope is a nu metal band, consisting of two brothers, Simon and Edsel Dope (is that their real name? Nnaaaaa…), they have released two albums thus far, both not bad,
Combining distorted guitars, synthetic production values, and industrial noises and samples, and have achieved some level of success in the heavily nu metal laden USA.
I shall try to skip through the brainless middle sections, staring the amazing female pump action, since that is exactly what I did with those tracks on my CD player, and relate to the songs themselves:
Surprise! There are actually good songs in here! Starting with the anthem-like “Bitch”, a certain single with its catchy chorus –“ the one I love to hate, but the sex is great”, which deals with an old masculine problem.
The guitars sound great, heavy, driving riffs, the production is top notch, crystal clear, the only minus is that annoying sample in the last section of the song (you’ll know what I mean when you’ll hear it).
Things go a bit down hill after that, especially with the mandatory ballad – “Another Day”, Which received the bitch slap treatment in my CD player, and the terrible nu metalish track “Falling Away”, the album is saved by cuts as “Motivation”, which defiantly kicks ass, and the almost thrash like “Burn”, with it’s sweet and loving chorus “burn the fucking enemy – burn the mother fucker down”… heart warming words indeed.
Yet, joking aside, this is certainly a good album, in this world of a thousand shitty nu metal bands, and two or three good ones, Dope are safely in the latter group.
Their songs are tough, meaty chunks of metal, that can put the groove on the Dalai Lama himself (though he may get pissed off by the Saint Claire motif…).
Alon Miasnikov
